Saturday, April 14, 2007

Coffee & Cake

Well I arranged to meet up with Kal, I know you will probably think it's too soon and a stupid thing to do, but it was something that had to be done.

We met in neutral territory, somewhere we both feel completely familiar with. We sat in silence, picking at threads of conversation, trying to be strong, but I could see the pain in his eyes and felt the pain as he stroked my back and brushed against my leg with his knee. I also felt a closeness to him, knowing the pain he is feeling, because I'm feeling it as well.

We had settled into conversation by the second round of drinks, I still hurt and feel like crying, but I haven't so far so that must be good. He looks good as well, but also looks like he needs a massive hug, I just wanted to shove the table out the way and hold him tight in my arms, he needs to cry, he looks like he's bottling it all up and I know what he's like, he'll become more withdrawn!

We walked out to our cars and both stood there not knowing what to do, in the past we would kiss, now though....

We both at the same time walked forward and hugged, a tight, secure hold, not caring who was watching and disapproving, we both needed it! It will get easier is what I keep hearing, I hope so, I want him back as my best friend, I know deep down it's over, but that's not to say we need to be enemies, we may have to work together after all!

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